My Blog

Today is the 3rd times in 4 days i went to swim….. Swimming is really help me to release my sadness. It stops me for thinking nonsense because i need to keep breathe and swim in the pool else i will drown and no one will safe this loser (cos too heavy)…… but when I stop swimming and look up the sky… a lot of things come back to my mind again… such as miss her, thinking of what she is doing now, then suddenly recalled that during the noon time I contact my buddy (one of the loser in love too hehe) I say how are you lately? Feeling better? And got this reply, “I’m no more sad already la..  Coz I know we cannot get back together already. So no point I wanna sad… Life goes on…" after read this…… I was like YA……. Me too I also know me and her cannot get back together already so y I still sad??? some more is her give up on me y I need to give up myself too…… y I need to sad for someone who didn’t even care about how I feel and how much I love her?? End is End although I’m not sure if I am really awake this time….. but at least I know is not worth for me to sad anymore. And think back all the comment that my friends gave to me……. I learn that life is short so is time for me to wake up now but…. Not really now lah cos now already 1224AM wor I still want to sleep ko so I cannot stay awake haha. Tomorrow lah It will be a new day for me d. Cheers!!

Have you ever love someone and thinking of being with that person forever?
Yes ofcos!! i love her a lot and i want her to be my wife.
Then have you ever thinking that someday you will lose that person to someone else?
Chooii nope… never worry about it cause I trust her too much and she say she love me a lot, beside we have been together for 7 years + and I’m going to propose to her next year.

Sigh… Seriously I feel like leaving Penang(the place I love the most)…. to a place i never be with her b4 to start my new life…… and sometimes I also feel like want to be alone hiding inside my room switch off my mobile phone no one can contact me… BUT this is not going to happen because this will just scare my parents and my friends. I feel lost because I’ve lost the gal i love the most, I’ve lost my confident, I’ve lost my heart, I’ve lost my soul…….. i also lost weight (this is the only good things hehe) and guess what without her i’m nothing…YA NOTHING!!. Because I’m too proud to have her and I’m just a shit when i lost her…. feel like crying…. but i can’t….. Maybe you all will think that I’m too ego and have a high pride or you all may think I’m cold blooded but what I’m going to say is I’m not because to my parents, to my friends, to everyone who know me I’m a very optimistic person. So I can’t be so selfish to let them worry about me, pity me…. Cos I no need and I don’t want people to sympathy me… is always very easy to console or tell someone how to do or what should they do when they break off. I’ve been always there to advise and console my friends what to do when they break off example “1^st. Time will let you recover, 2^nd Please learn to let go, 3^rd You will find someone better, 4^th she/he just not the one to be with you forever, 5^th Come on cheer up, 6^th Hey I intro you nice gal/guy and etc” but when it happen to myself….. all the things I’ve just said is just a crap, a bullshit…… is really easy for me to forgive someone but is really hard for me to forget her (the woman i love a lot, the woman with my future…..) After breaking off with her, i no longer can fall a sleep easily at night because my mind keep thinking of her and keep dream about her and awake in the midnite. I feel sorry to those who listen to my crap and bullshit when they break off… cos I didn’t know how you all feel until now and is true this is sucks and is not working and guess what I’m not going to console others with this bullshit and crap anymore!!!   

I hate that guy a lot… I feel like beating him!! Because he lost his gal and then come and stole my gal!!! he not only stole her from me, he has stole my future, my dream and my confident!! What the FUCK IS THAT!!! Because he act like so pity till my gal feel pity him and fall for him?? Maybe I can learn it from him and try to steal other’s lover… HAHA don’t worry lah I just joking and i won’t do it : ) because I know how it feel… and the pain I’m suffering now no one will know… no one will understand yes NO ONE will know so please stop telling me that you all know how I feel!!! Actually I’m too tired to wearing a mask everyday when I face others because I’m acting like nobody business… I’m really sick of it!!! I wish I’m still in primary school so I can just cry anytime I want haha. So all my friends, now you all know that why I don’t need and don’t want people to pity me cos i dunwan to be like him! HEHE and to all that care about me don’t worry I just said nia I won’t really go and beat him even if I meet him outside cos this will give him another chance for people to pity him beside I don’t want to hurt him because he is the bf of the gal who I love most ….. When I told my friend that I’m a loser, my friend scold me that there is no loser or winner. Because I just lost someone who didn’t love me like I love her. She didn’t deserve to have me so I’m not a loser…. Yeah!! I’m not a loser so who is loser then?? Funny har?…

After today yes after I wake up tomorrow morning, it will be the 4^th week being single so I won’t feel sad anymore (are you sure?) Yes I will try and I will learn to let go, because time will let me recover (Thought u’ve just said those are just bullshit and is just crap?)

有个朋友SMS我. "我不想问你,今天快乐吗? 因为快乐并不是那么容易得到的. 我只想问你,今天你笑了吗?简单的笑,会让人暂时忘掉忧愁, 这样看来比较快乐一点. 来笑一个吧" 可能笑可以看来比较快乐一点. 想一想我真的笑得出吗? 因为现在的我只有苦笑……..